Why So Anxious? 0_o

Today I had an amusing conversation with someone. The summary :
"Inder, I am so anxious of everything. I'm afraid im never going to find someone for myself. I dont think i have the right job. I  I've got to make this life make sense. I am literally wasting my life away and I cant do anything about it"

What i thought at that very moment was simple.

Then when i got home (when the late wisdom came in ) He was not going insane. He was anxious.

Anxiety.
Spun so carelessly people dont know what it means anymore


TAKEN FROM THE CANADIAN CPG OF PSY;

Anxiety disorders are a group of mental disorders characterized by various combinations of key features—excessive anxiety, fear, worry, avoidance, and compulsive rituals—that are associated with impaired functioning or significant distress 
Others will present with sleeplessness, vague pains, headache, dizziness, stomach upset, or other somatic symptoms. Complaints of loss of concentration, tiredness, and reduced effectiveness in routine
tasks may also be prominent symptoms.

Of course. There are a few more criteria that will turn Anxiety into a disorder that requires medication (but i will not be speaking on that or this will turn into a PSY lecture)

I used to be very anxious person. I am capable of thinking all the worse case scenarios that can happen. Whether it comes down to driving on the road or meeting someone new (Dont even get me started on exams) I realize when there was something bothering me I try to occupy myself with other tasks.

Aggression seeped in when speaking to people around me who i do not want to hurt so I preferred to isolate myself. 
I ate badly, either consuming too much or too little. This goes on till i get exhausted, up to the point where i could not care less of the outcome of the thing i have been so worried about.

I refused to believe i was anxious for no reason.

How can u tell a student not to feel anxious before an exam?
He has trained and waited for this very moment. It can go both ways. He has given his best yet all his efforts can be proven to be in vain
 (the very reason i get irked when someone sends me the Keep Calm memes during exams)

 How i usually read that as

All these is because of one thing :

I want to control the Future.
I want to know what is going to happen next, I need the assurance.
I want the Outcome to be what is best for me, the way i want it.

And so, i ruin the present day feeling anxious about tomorrow, unknowingly burning bridges with people around me :)

Sometimes u just have to let go you know, believe there is a Higher Being looking out for you, wanting the best outcome, whether or not it goes the way we planned. Just do your best and believe the outcomes is what was meant to be.

You cant master anxiety. We were born with it.
What you can do is learn to live with it. Its not easy but just as we have learned to live with rain and storm this too shall pass with time.
And as feeling anxious of never finding someone to grow old with, just stop. Let things be the way it is. You will see in time feeling anxious will not bring the person any closer or sooner.


It is so hard to tell your passionate heart to be still, to have faith, free of tension and fear
Dont let anxiety enslave you. Dont waste your life away worrying.

The Pain of Being Single (A Reply Post)

My older post from theunwrittenindeh.blogspot.com



woke up to the feeling of hunger this morning at a sickening time :(

recently i've found this addiction to Micheal Bubble (youtube his songs if u dno him)
more like since i heard his song Beyond the sea.

well anyways i was going thru another fren's blog when i read this : The pain of being single

LOL

wat a topic to start ur day wif no?

lemme start up with my own version of this.

Lets see..there are many types of em(singles) around.

the ones that got depressed and opted to be single.
the ones that were to fussy and choosy that no one met up tot heir expctations.
the i dun care if im single ones.



the ones who are still searching and hoping.
the ones who are still searching And hoping secretly.
the ones who thinks its okie cause its not the right age yet.
the ones who hook up and break up at lightning speed that somehow their life falls into the single category somesort.



the ones who do not even notice the opp gender except for their own.
the ones that Pretends to be single while they're secretly oogling over the another kid.
the ones that have a r'ship wif Chaudrasia n Guyton instead of smtg ahem* a lil more real..

in the beginning i must say i fell into one of the categories above. I've been disappointed before but it's no suprise cause not everything lasts forever i suppose. Ive just been ignoring this fact of life for so long that ive lost track of time.
since then ive talked myself in,, ive talked myself out of this having faith coming up with a million excuses and cons all the time.

And no, dun confuse me to have found someone either. I sudd have my wrecked mind thinking on the reasons why some people are so sked to be lonely and out of a r'ship. i mean it used to feel diff last time for me but now i somehow can hardly be botherd by any of these. like for some people the min they're single,, their brains goes on a man/woman hunt searching if the person fits their Dream Checklist and what not almost instantly like instead of falling in love,, it seem more like *Forcing their way into love just to fill the void in their life.seem so familiar ryte? But ever asked Why?..

i guess the ans to that is simple : Insecurity :)

the fear of remaining lonely and having meals wif a plant on the table( A very depressing scene form the movie : RED),,
the fear of never getting married,,
the fear of being left out while all your frens are busy wif their significant half,,
fear of not fitting in,,
fear of being the outkast on Valentines
fear of not feeling love and experiencing this reli Great things u see in movies and songs,,
fear of ahem* dying a virgin for some,,
and the fear list goes on and on

but den again we're humans. we were created with such emotions. the reli great ones tend to have a relationship with God instead to fill this lonely side of their life. A majority of em however then to rely on something more physical and homosapien like in nature.



the reason : Simple. We just wna find someone to share smtg wif be it happy or sad times to not feel so lonely. it cud be anyone1 just as long as u get to have a conversation wif em or have a chance to say : hey u noe wht hppned,, dotdotdotdotdot or share emotions or the ability to call someone as Mine* and to share the feelings,, or for some,, to fulfill their personal satisfaction.




also most of us tend to assume that being in a r'ship is the source of uttermost happiness :) if u look at it,, its not quite true most of the time. the mistake we do is that we tend to somehow place our happiness in other people's hand the min we get into a r'ship (which results in a high incidence of disappointment which follows up wif a malignant hate). why rely on someone else to get u gifts and love notes when u can do it ursewf?

yeahh i noe.. kinda make sense..no point relying on your other half to make u happy all the time.. somehow yet knowing this here i am falling into the not so odd thinking of the people which is to assume for someone to come along and be my get-away-car to some happy dreamylike paradise and make me feel happy*

the thing i find funny is when people tell me this : i plan to fall in love when im at __ age and so on.
heck this thing has a mind of its own!! no one can bloody plan it. it just happens*
to the most random and unexpected people.
to the ones u once tawt i wud NEVER.
to the person next door or next to you in class




its worse then rocket science cause thru out years and centuries this is the one thing everyone keeps revolving around.


like they say , once in a while in an almost ordinary life,, love comes along and gives us a fairytale.


As for me,, I'm happy with the way things are in my life right now and i wudnt wanna change it all so fast. Maybe someday later it'll turn out right but im not searching nor am i anticipating for it..

It's gonna be half timing and the other half luck (maybe a lil effort as well! lol) Like Michael Buble once said : Whenever its right, you'll come out of nowhre and into my life.

For now,, My life is Perfect. Maybe someday later perhaps...?
I know I just havent met you yet :)