Drafted 20.05.2013
Cause our net connection on campus is oh so awesome.Hmphh*
*********************************************************************************
And I sit here again to type it all out..
Its been a great day! Just reached home from ipoh this
morning and went to the hospital straight – not a very smart move. Started the
radiology posting today which made me feel even sleepier! The environment of black
and white, cold rooms and uttermost silence. I was literally fighting to keep
my eye lids up :/
Ok well not literally fighting I guess.
But that’s not the point why im blogging. Had a conversation
with someone earlier that brought me to this.
I realize sometimes we so desperately want someone that
we’re willing to turn a blind eye to everything else that comes with them. We
tend to say, we love them and nothing else matters. We then say “ I am willing
to accept them for what they are because I love them”.
Yeah I get it. When
it’s going good, it’s going great no?
You dont see anything except for what is standing in front of you no matter how wrong the signals scream.
But no one speaks of what comes after. What
happens when the lovey dovey span dies off? What happens when things get
serious, when you’re seen staring at the same person after many years? Will the
same flaws we once shrugged off still be ignored so easily? Will we still be
treating them with the same love and respect as what we did in the beginning?
Will we be willing enough to accept that same person and all that comes with
it, or would we give up halfway? And will all that was filled with love now be filled
with spite?
That is when the drama ensues – the blame
game starts. We start claiming the person we are staring at has changed.
They’re not the same person you once fell in love it. We say they are behaving
differently. Funny thing is, it’s the exact same person you’re staring at –
just when the heat dies off, you tend to see the person as a whole. The good,
the bad, the ugly, the great.
And then the decision making begins. We try to change the Already PERFECT ONE. And if you can't, you upt and leave. God forbid by then
you’re already legalized cause by then the hassle of all paperwork would be a
real sucker.
The truth is, deep down we all have faith that the person
will change over time. That our love, if strong enough will bring that person
to the right path , or to the path we think is right. (which is another thing I
find interesting, how people tend to define a right path). That we will be able
to change the person to see the things the way we see them. And when we realize
it does not work that way, we leave. Then the blame game continues. If they
cant blame the other person, the ultimate blame is placed on Love itself.
Which is funny and sad, cause what started off as a beautiful
expression ends up being blamed for being cruel and ugly and sigh. What not.
Don’t get me wrong. It would be great if we can somewhat
change a person, to rid them off their addictions or unhealthy practices. To
support them and encourage them to strive for things they are more than capable
of. Its just that when it comes to relationships,
if you don’t agree to something, why commit to it? The whole thing starts when
we refuse to see that bad side and we expect it to disappear once the
relationship progresses. What if it does not disappear?? What if it gets
worse?? Do you just walk away then? No correction. Is it alright to walk away
THEN?
Hmm.There may be many reasons for you to go, but if
you just find a reason to stay.If you just get pass that moment. If you learn
to accept others for what they are – and accept that you may not be able to
change the person you’re looking at, things may just work. Not work, things may
just last*. After all, you cant fall in and out of love so easily. Infatuation,
yes. But not love.
As for me..ahem*
I wish that was somesort applicable in a way. THEY FART GLITTER AFTER ALL! :D
blaahh I’m still a big sucker for love.
Practicality, yes. But alongside that whole falling in thing. And not those fairytale love like stories – there’s too much drama
before they end up happy! I would rather have everything fall into place from
the beginning.
*I know what i'm looking for. I just haven't find someone convincing that is worth changing my mind for.
Altho truth be told, it may seem
like an uttermost impossible to task to search for such a person! I have waited and
waited at times I even scare myself. I have walked away from many opportunities
– and I know what I’m missing out on. But I can’t help it. I'd rather things be this way than rushing into a shitty relationship just because society think i should! So yeah :/ I still have friends to keep company no?
Maybe someday when I find someone worth it then who knows?
Like Bob Marley once
said : THE TRUTH IS, EVERYBODY IS GOING TO HURT YOU; YOU JUST GOTTA FIND THE
ONES WORTH SUFFERING FOR.
My mind is kinda tender,, and my body is tired.
Sighh..
Please be kind to me oh new posting..
Till here then!
